♥ Teh Raphie ♥ (jewelofsaturn) wrote in leschouettes,
♥ Teh Raphie ♥

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"Where am I?" Raphie declared, glancing around the deserted town. "I was sleeping and then ended up here? It's cold." She was worried. What if she would never get home? Strolling along the abandoned shops, Raphie felt like she was being watched. By who, she didn't know. "This isn't college avenue," she cried, almost panicking. "Not one hot person in sight...the whole place is --" Deciding this was some fucked up version of a dream, Raphie made the brash move of wandering further, perhaps by travelling through the streets, she would find someone to help her.

Meg had also been sleeping, which was odd for her because she didn't sleep very often for very long, and dreaming was even weirder. She was walking through the same deserted town, which was definitely too dusty and gross to be Bloomsburg, PA. As she walked along, slightly confused, she saw a (very hot) girl walking along as well.

"Oh, thank God!" Raphie declared, noticing the pretty girl walking toward her. "I was sleeping and ended up in this town. It almost looks like someplace from -- No, you wouldn't know, or would you?" She studied the girl carefully. "I'm Raphie, do I know you?"

"You're Raphie?" Meg said, an expression of recognition dawning on her face. "Ohmigod!" she yelled in an absolute verbalization of the phrase 'OMG' "I'm MEG!!!"

"OHOHOH!" Raphie squeed, and pulled Meg into a hug. "My roleplay buddy! Wow." Her excitement lasted for only a second, however, proceeding to her looking utterly confused. She made a quick gesture around the town, while seemed to look even more frightening in the dim light. "Where the fuck are we?"

"What are you going out here?!" one of the people cried out to them. It was a boy of about seventeen or eighteen, with dark hair and eyes to match. He ran ahead of the group, and looked at Meg and Raphie in disbelief. "It's dangerous out here! Raphie, my creator, her evil NPCs have revolted and are on the loose!"

Raphie nearly fell over when she recognised who was speaking. He looked like Rufus Wainwright, but Raphie knew better. "Kevin fucking ENTWHISTLE?!"

Meg stared at Kevin for a moment, unsure whether she should laugh or cry. "Ohmifuckinggawd. It IS Kevin fucking Entwhistle. Raphie," she suggested, "Run for it, before it's too late." Her expression was wildly reminiscent of Larry.

Raphie blinked once, and her eyes scanned the crowd behind Kevin, looking faintly horrified. "What do you MEAN evil NPCs are on the loose?" she asked, waving her arms around frantically. "They're FAKE! FAKE FAKE FAKE!"

"They're not just FAKE, they're NPCs," Meg cried, "Which means that, unlike him," she gestured towards Kevin, "You can't really control them." She larried again, and as she spoke, an extremely petite girl with short blonde hair came running at them, and threw herself at Raphie, swearing and clawing at her face.

"You fucking bitch!" she shouted. "First you fucking created that fucking cunt, Sidonia and sicced her on Kevin, and now she's fucking running after us like a fucking mad twat!"

Raphie screamed with horror, and attempted to push the girl off her. "Get the fuck off me, you MAD woman!" she howled, as Kevin watched, blinking. "Don't TOUCH me!"

"Make it hurt, Sefarina," came a voice of a man, tall and a brunette. "She had me and Orla here tortured in an alley and it'll probably fucking happen again. We have Calvin AND the bloody Warrington siblings after us!"

"My sister was highly offended that you killed her off," came another voice, this one female. A particularly beautiful and petite girl looked at Raphie with wide eyes. "Lucille is going to hurt you. Best leave now!"

The blonde girl, Sefarina, fell back against Kevin, snarling violently at Raphie.

As if out of nowhere, a young woman with long brown hair and a pert face appeared next to the brownhaired man. "Hello, Raphie," she said, smiling sweetly. "I know that I'm secretly an emotionless, shallow shell of a human being, but I really didn't particularly enjoy being tortured in an alleyway by Terence's mad cousin. I hope that when he finds you, he does the exact same to you."

Meg watched the scene, snickering. After a moment, she glanced at Raphie and said, "Haha, this is what you get for torturing your characters. I'm glad I haven't any evil NPCs."

"Correction," said another voice, also as if out of nowhere. It belonged to a tall, weedy looking (but nevertheless extremely attractive) boy of about eighteen. "You haven't many evil NPCs. You created my father and grandfather... neither of them like Muggles, see, and my dad's a bit mad from being in Azkaban. They'll probably torture you to death as soon as they find you. They like to do that to Muggles."

Feeling a sudden burst of courage, Raphie glared at all her angry characters, and folded her arms across her chest. "Alright, whatever!" she snapped, looking mightily pissed off. "I created them, so maybe I could stop them? And if I do, will you take Meg and I home?"

A girl with long, dark hair, laughed, and rolled her eyes. "Pansy Parkinson," she introduced, before declaring. "It's not that simple. You and Meg did a rather good job of creating these evil fiends and defeating them will be no easy task."

"Fuck," Raphie groaned, Terence and Kevin in particular glaring at her. "Oh stop that," Raphie scolded them. "Kevin, I'm going to let you date Sefarina, cheer up. And Terence, you have Justin and love him dearly, right? See? I'm not all bad!" At the mention of Justin, Terence's cheeks turned faintly pink, and Kevin gawked at Raphie, obviously surprised.

"Don't think that will let you off easily," Daphne muttered darkly, who was scanning the town for her sister.

Sefarina looked at Raphie for a moment as if she were prepared to forgive her for torturing Kevin if she could go out with him, but after realizing that she probably didn't mean it, she continued to scowl.

"She's got it exactly right," Orla continued, pointing at Daphne, "Because, see, I'm not even your character and you tortured me. As for you," she turned on Meg, glaring, "You didn't have to make me such a selfish, snotty person! I was supposed to be nice!"

Theodore glanced at Meg as well, smirking. "I'm prepared to see how you think you'd make up for giving me a shite childhood and psychotic family members."

Meg gulped. "You can go out with Stella again, if you'd like. And Orla, don't speak to me that way. I created you. You were supposed to be nice, but you're not. So shut it."

"Meg didn't fucking STOP you from being tortured," Raphie snarled at Orla, causing Terence to glare at her murderously.

"Raphie, fuck you," he sneered, and Raphie gulped, knowing when Terence was REALLY pissed off things got ugly. "You're not to speak to her that way. If it meant not having more sex with Justin and breaking his muggle's heart, I'd fucking KILL you."

Kevin, who had been surprisingly quiet, glanced around the crowd. "Perhaps we should go in one of those pubs and talk this out? I don't know about you, but I really don't feel like running into Sidonia right now."

The group of people were drawing closer. Meg glanced at Raphie, now looking genuinely terrified. Orla was babbling about the alleyway torture episode. "Well, what the fuck was Meg SUPPOSED to say, 'Oh, Raphie, I love you but I'd rather not go along with your plot?'"

Meg glared at Orla, and told her to shut up again, though she sounded much less confident this time around, glancing at her characters with a terrified expression on her face. Sefarina was clinging to Kevin, looking somewhere between murderous and about to tear up.

"Can't you make them all go away?" she asked. "After all, you invented them. Don't you think Kevin's been through enough, Raphie?"

Meanwhile, in the background, Theodore was laughing manically like the fucking psycho that he is.

Raphie laughed nervously. "Terence, my love, I'll suck you off you don't hurt me?"

Terence growled, and took out his wand, holding it to Raphie's throat. "Oh yes!" he cackled, shaking his head, a wild glint in his eyes. "Let the world know that I'm even more of a whore! You fucking bitch. You broke me?! How I can ever --"

Pansy was laughing with Theodore, greatly amused, but then Daphne cut everyone off, with a small scream. There was another group standing in the distance, and Raphie looked about to faint when she recognised them.

"Ooooh, look, my creator!" one of them cooed, a short women, whose madness was made very clear by her large eyes, and pale skin. "I've been wanting to meet you. Kevin and I love you. Hello, Kevin."

Sefarina glared at the woman, her expression so livid that it was almost frightening (Sef was the kind of girl who was impossible to be completely frightening). With a shriek of anger, she hurdled herself at the woman, limbs flying.

Kevin gasped loudly, looking terrfied. He peered at Raphie, and his eyes were desperate. "Raphie. Make them leave! I can't see Sefarina hurt." He had his wand out, but looked scared at the thought of wounding Sefarina.

Raphie glanced at Sidonia and Sefarina. "Leave, Sidonia. Leave." When nothing happened, she started to panic. "I DEMAND YOU LEAVE!"

A thin man, with snakelike features, cackled madly. "Oh, Raphie," he leered, looking at Terence with a hungry glint on his face. "You think you could control me or her? And oh, I want to get out of prison ever so much, you know. Hurt Terence for stealing my fiancee. Maybe rape him and the cut him up into pieces."

Terence went pale, and lowered his wand from Raphie's throat. "S forbids that! She'd SPASM!" he choked, taking a step back.

Sefarina stepped away from Sidonia, only to use the space to kick the woman as hard as possible in the groin. Seeing her grimace in pain, she hissed, "You deserve that and a thousand times more, you stupid. Fucking. Cunt. If you lay so much as a finger on him again, I will hunt you down and hex you until you beg for mercy. I will fucking kill you."

"Sef..." Meg said quietly, "Maybe it's best if you leave Sidonia to Raphie. Afterall, you're rather poorly matched..."

Sefarina ignored her, and Orla caught her attention. "Make that fucking bastard leave," she said calmly, pointing towards Calvin. "I cannot stand to be within the same hundred mile radius as him."

Meg grimaced, unsure of what to do. Theodore was still laughing. "Ohhh, just wait until my father and grandfather get here... you're going to have the time of your life..."

Raphie saw even more people approaching in the distance and she swallowed. She turned to Pansy, who looked pretty bored. "What can I do? I can't control Sidonia!" She nodded at the insane woman, who was now seething in pain and rage, lifting her wand menacingly.

"Raphie," Calvin breathed, walking over to stroke Terence's hair. "Can I touch him at least on--"

Calvin's sentence was cut off, as Terence punched him hard in the stomach, clawing as violently as he could at his face, livid.

Pansy ignored the fights a few feet away from her, and laughed, "Don't ask me. Run for your life?"

"I'm with Pansy on this one, for once," Meg said, attempting to control her facial expression, but she was clearly terrified. "Let's run for it. Like, now." She glanced at Raphie, and was about to take off for the distance, when she fell flat on her face onto the ground, which made her look rather ridiculous. Theodore's laughter was joined by that of two older, taller men. Alphonse and Simon Nott had arrived.

"I do love that trip jinx," Theodore's father said, licking his lips, eyes looking mad and not focusing on Meg, who was lying on the ground, mouth open in shock. "So much fun when used on Muggles..."

"THEODORE! STOP THEM!" Meg screamed at the boy, who had stopped laughing. "I haven't done anything particularly nasty to you!"

"No," said Orla, "But you killed my brother and allowed Raphie to torture me in dark alleyway!"

"And you made me fall into unrequited love with Kevin and allowed Raphie to make him miserable, and therefore make me miserable!" Sefarina hissed.

"Look at all the sweet muggles," Tatiana Warrington declared, her brother Adonis beside her. "Ohhh, Terence! Has Justin found out the good news yet? Calvin, play nice."

Raphie didn't hear Terence's response for she was knocked to the ground by a violent hex. Lucille Greengrass was towering over her, and sneered, "I was Marked. I could have been great, and you let him kill me." Her eyes went to Kevin, and she reached forward to strangle him, laughing wildly.

"Don't you touch him either!" Sefarina screamed at Lucille, stepping in front of her, wand drawn. "Don't you dare! I'll kill you, too. I'll fucking kill you a second time, and then when you're dead, I'll tarnish your reputation in all the right circles."

Uninterested in Sefarina's mindless protection of Kevin, Alphonse Nott smirked at Meg. "Do you know what the Cruciatus Curse is like, Muggle?" he asked. "How horrible it is?" Looking absolutely delighted at the idea of torturing her, he raised is wand and muttered the incantation, sending Meg into convulsions on the ground. Orla began to laugh, saying, "How do YOU like it, Muggle?" In fact, the only one of the characters who seemed particularly concerned with the fact that Meg was being tortured was Sef, who was busy fending off Lucille.

"Ohhh," Calvin breathed, and he shoved Terence away from him, slamming him into Orla. "Raphie. If you don't let me have Terence, things will get ugly."

Raphie snorted, barely noticing as Lucille choked Kevin. "And what will you do to me?" she asked, trying to look defiant.

Immediately, Raphie's shirt was slashed, and the letter 'R' was carved on her chest, bleeding slowly. "OhmyfuckingGOD!" she cried, looking at Terence, who was being coddled over by Tatiana. "STOP THEM TERENCE PLEASE! I'll do anything, anything!"

"It's hopeless," Daphne answered her, the tone of her voice dead.

Sefarina was attempting in vain to pull Lucille off of Kevin, crying and swearing under her breath.

"If you two let Calvin touch us," Orla hissed, wand pointed at Meg, then Raphie, Meg, then Raphie, "You deserve to die slow, painful deaths."

"Dad," Theodore drawled in a slow voice as Meg wimpered in pain on the ground. "You're not being very nice."

Raphie began to cry, as Sidonia walked over, eager on helping Calvin. "Could I?" she asked prettily, sending Kevin a smile. "I want to teach my pretty cousin how to really kill."

"I want to do it," Adonis chimed in suddenly. "That bitch let Justin slit my throat!"

"But that hasn't happened yet!" Raphie objected, as Terence laughed bitterly, deciding he had enough of fighting, and offered Orla two plane tickets to Paris, even though he hated the muggle way of travelling. "Let's run away and get married," he snickered. "Fuck these muggles."

Kevin swallowed, "I don't wish Sidonia on Raphie...Please stop." Lucille merely snorted, and struck him across the face, sending him to the ground.

Orla looked at Terence fleetingly, and said, "Let's get the fuck out of here. Plane to Paris sounds like heaven. We'll get married there."

If anyone had ever seen Sefarina Katharine Fawcett livid (and likely no one ever had), it was now. Face completely white with rage, she lept onto Lucille, knocking her to the ground. "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM!" she screamed, smacking the other girl so hard that she winced in pain. "You don't deserve to live, you stupid Death Eating twat!"

"I'm already DEAD!" Lucille cried, flailing. "Raphie had KEVIN KILL ME!"

Kevin, on the other hand, was swooning slightly, sitting up. "You'd really do anything for me, wouldn't you?" he said quietly, peering up at Sefarina from underneath his eyelashes.

Tatiana was currently shouting at Terence. "YOU CAN'T MARRY THAT BITCH! I'M HAVING YOUR FUCKING CHILD!"

"Well, I can kill you in NPCland!" Sefarina spat, standing up and kicking Lucille hard in the ribs before walking towards Kevin, whom she clung to. "Of course I'd do anything for you," she said. "I love you."

Orla, on the other hand, was laughing at Tatiana. "Sucks to be you, doesn't it, you stupid snobby cunt?" She grinned, and showed Tatiana her left hand. "He bought me a ring. All he did was fuck you. As for the baby... I suggest you abort it. Your genes are probably fucked up, anyway."

Kevin giggled, stars in his eyes as he helped Sefarina punch and kick at Lucille, causing Sidonia to glare. "You're supposed to kill out of hate," she sneered. "Not LOVE!"

Tatiana glowered at Orla, and took out her wand, waving it about stupidly. "You bitch," she growled, clenching her fists. "I'll fight you for Terence. He's not YOURS! Raphie? He's mine right?"

Calvin frowned. "He's mine to KILL."

Raphie, on the other hand, was still lying on the ground, whimpering. Pansy was sitting next to her, legs crossed, and she read on of her muggle books, laughing at the bad plots.

"I am killing out of hate!" Sefarina snapped at Sidonia. "I hate you more than words can describe!"

Orla glanced at Tatiana for a moment, before smirking. "Oh, honestly," she said, sounding bored. "Like I couldn't take you. I survived your fiance, after all."

Alphonse Nott had given up on torturing Meg, who seemed to be too much in pain to even wimper or cry. Theodore, who previously had looked merely bored, appeared concerned for a moment, before he said, "Come on, Dad. She's just a dumb Muggle. She hardly deserved that."

Alphonse wrinkled his nose. "Would you prefer I made it quick and easy for her, then?"

"Terence is my fiancee now!" Tatiana objected, shoving Orla. "And he's mine. Mineminemine!"

Terence rolled his eyes, and shook his head. "Actually," he said rather seriously, "I'm property of S and Justin. If anyone else tries to claim me, they'll die." He beamed, and added, "Not that I mind of course. I adore them both."

Calvin scowled, leering down at Raphie, and stepping on her to keep her in place. "Can I just kill her, then? God, so fucking picky."

Sidonia snorted, and looked over at Kevin and Sefarina. "You really think you stand a chance against me in Out of the Fire. Ahahah. Yeah. Right."

Orla just shrugged at Tatiana, and looked at Terence as if to tell him to fix her problem.

Sefarina glared at Sidonia. "You underestimate us," she said, really meaning 'me.' "I have much more determination than you do, I want to kill you so much right now you wouldn't believe it. And if I have to spend the rest of my life finding the perfect curse to make you suffer for hurting Kevin and hunting you down, I will do it, so help me god."

Lucille, who was glaring at her archrival Sidonia, merely blinked. "You and Kevin should just fuck already."

This statement caused Terence to laugh childishly.

"Yeah, tell him that," Sefarina muttered, as Orla nudged Terence in the ribs, as if to say, "Oh, grow up!"

Kevin beamed, and wrapped his arm around Sefarina, causing Sidonia to gag in disgust. "Maybe we should?" he suggested.

Terence cocked an eyebrow at them, and slung his arm around Orla's shoulders. "So. Darling. You're babysitting so Justin and I can shag in every room of my estate, right?"

Adonis sneered, along with Calvin and Tatiana. "That fucking mudblood killed me!" he yelled, shooting Raphie a death glare. "Because of you. We all ought to kill the muggles and leave."

Raphie yelped.

Sefarina looked at Kevin with watery eyes and wrapped her arms about him, pulling him into a tight hug. She didn't particularly care of Sidonia saw and laughed.

Orla sighed and wrapped her arm around Terence's waist in a chummy sort of fashion before saying, "What are friends for?"

Meg looked at Raphie, clearly delirious and terrified. Alphonse Nott was grinning madly, and looked at Adonis. "You three can have the blonde, I want the redhead. Afterall, it was I who caused her pathetic screams."

Adonis, Tatiana, and Calvin all beamed happily, and beant over Raphie, casting various hexes, which caused her to scream in pain. Neither Kevin nor Terence noticed, Kevin draping himself over Sefarina, and Terence thanking Orla, rambling about all the artistic supplies he could buy her.

Sidonia and Lucille wrinkled their noses, and proceeded to hurt each other, Daphne sighing, wondering why her family was so fucked up.

"Is it wrong of me to think your girl problem is worse than this?" Pansy asked Theodore.

Alphonse Nott was grinning manically now, his father standing behind him and clapping his hands together gleefully. His own son, however, merely looked bored.

"I would tend to agree with you," Theodore said to Pansy. "Hell, I might be tortured very soon, for all we know."

With that, Alphonse Nott raised his wand, and shouted "AVADA KEDAVRA!" in a voice that was actually slightly giggly. Meg fell to the ground, dead.

"Wow," Orla said. "I didn't know that we could survive independently of her..."

Sefarina looked sad.

Shortly afterward, Raphie was dead as well, her three killers cheering, and leering at each other. Terence made a face. "Well, fuck," he said, with a shrug. "Orla? Shall we head to France? Let's kidnap Justin too."

Kevin looked at Raphie's dead body, and sighed, "Eh. She should have known. So...I'm hungry."
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