♥ Teh Raphie ♥ (jewelofsaturn) wrote in leschouettes,
♥ Teh Raphie ♥

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*giggles* Meg always wondered what having IN!Theodore and SE!Terence in a conversation would be like. :| Haha. Good times. Good times. It's crack, really. Not meant to be taken seriously at all.

Terence Higgs shot Tatiana and Adonis Warrington a charming grin, as he made his way over to the punch bowl, feeling utterly gleeful. He couldn't believe how obvious the two siblings made it that they wanted him, but then again, who didn't? He was Terence, after all. Pursing his lips in thought, Terence eyed each punch bowl carefully, trying to decide which one to drink first. Normally, he would have all of them, but then again, it wasn't proper to get piss drunk at a family function. "Sadly," Terence thought, with a smirk.

The one thing that Theodore hated more than his own family was family reuninions with the snobby members of other pureblooded families. So, at this little get together, he seemed more than a bit out of place, sulking by the punch bowl and being obstinately unsocial, despite the best efforts of an attractive darkhaired cousin to lure him into a bedroom to show him a scar she got from a broomriding accident. As he poured himself a cup of punch, he muttered, "Bloody fucking hell," under his breath.

Terence raised an eyebrow at the sound of another voice, while he poured himself a cup of punch carefully, making sure he didn't spill it on himself like he did at his last family gathering. Calvin laughed at him for weeks, and the memory still made Terence frown, like a brat, which he was, of course. "Not having fun?" he asked casually, sending a sweet smile in Theodore's direction.

Theodore wrinkled his nose and downed a glass of punch, before saying, "Are these things ever any fun?" He glared, somewhat ferociously, at Terence, as if the question was an accusation.

"It depends," Terence pointed out, drinking his own punch slowly, wagging an eyebrow at a particularly pretty girl who walked by. "This one is rather dull...There never seems to be anyone new to talk to, or anything. Depressing."

Theodore snorted into a fresh glass of punch. "I've never spoken to you before," he snapped. "Or do you only count pretty girls as people?"

"I adore pretty boys too, since you asked," Terence said, smirking, and nodding at a blonde boy in the distance as an example. "You're very pretty, so I suppose I could count you." He smoothed out the wrinkles in his dress shirt, and extended his hand for Theodore to shake it. "I'm Terence Higgs," he said, politely as an introduction. "And you are?"

Theodore attempted not to look uncomfortable at the fact that Terence had called him pretty, and took his hand. "Theodore Callistus Nott," he said tersely.

"I've heard of your family," Terence said, taking another long sip from his punch glass. "You probably haven't heard much of mine, the Higgs tend to stay away from the limelight. The Rosiers and Warringtons, though...They're all here. Heard of them? All very ravishing looking."

"I've heard of you," Theodore replied, getting himself more punch. He didn't feel the need to drop names about, tell Terence that he was related to both the Blacks and the Wilkeses. "Draco Malfoy usurped you for a spot on the house team in second year."

Terence's features flickered, and he looked affronted. "Well. I never liked Quidditch that much anyway, and Flint was a bad captain," he said coldly. "My father insisted I play."

"I've heard that one before," Theodore said, wrinkling his nose. "Fortunately for me, I never bothered go out for the team. So I never had to suffer a loss to Draco Malfoy." He looked supremely bored by this conversation, set down his glass of punch, and reached into his robes. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, opened them, and lit one.

Terence shrugged. "Draco's not too awful, he's pretty cute. I hate Flint, though. What a royal cunt. Thank Merlin he's not at this function, but I don't want to talk about him." He looked at the cigarettes Theodore had, and tilted his head coyly. "Can I have one?" he asked, looking hopeful.

"Sorry that I base my opinions of people based on something other than whether or not they're 'cute,'" Theodore said, handing the cigarette case to Terence. Stupid, dirty habit, he thought to himself.

Terence smirked, and took one of the cigarettes, lighting it, and taking a long drag. "I do too, but looking good is high on my list of priorities. You can tell so much about someone by how they present themselves," he explained, blowing out at thin stream of smoke, grinning at two girls who had walked by, causing one of them to blush faintly.

"Could have fooled me," Theodore snorted. As he exhaled, smoke blew out of his nostrils, giving in the appearance of a discontent dragon. "But then, why concern yourself with anything but looks when you've so many good looking, if incestuous, women at your disposal?"

"I wouldn't say 'no' to incest," Terence said, rather wistfully. "Have never done it, though. Have you?" He looked at Theodore with mild interest.

"Of course not," Theodore said, sounding disgusted. He sucked on the end of his cigarette.

"Sometimes, I think my cousin wants to fuck me," Terence rambled, nodding at Calvin, who stood a bit away. "He always looks at me, and it's so odd." He shivered, a snicker escaping his lips, and he continued to smoke, not even noticing how uncomfortable such a conversation could make Theodore.

Theodore shuddered visibly. "I only fuck people with whom I share only a small sliver of the gene pool, thanks," he told Terence, clearly disturbed by this topic of conversation. "Females whom I share only a small sliver of the gene pool."

Terence rolled his eyes. "That's not very daring. I fuck...well, anyone who looks attractive. What have you got against boys? They can suck like no other."

Theodore stared at Terence, unsure if he should laugh or run for the nearest receptical in which he could vomit. "Some may be able to 'suck like no other' but I'd rather get head from a girl who's no good than a boy who wants me to return the favor."

"If you say so," Terence sighed, disposing the end of his cigarette. "I'd hate to receive bad head though. There's nothing worse than bad sex, really. It's so terribly degrading. I like to think I pick people who are worth it."

"Making statements like 'there's nothing worse than bad sex' is just asking fate to prove you wrong," Theodore snapped. "And that's a rather fucked up view on life, anyway."

Terence took a step back, not used to having people get annoyed with him so quickly, rather having them laugh him off. "Why?" he asked, blinking once. "It suits me okay."

"That's because you're a bratty, insolent, self-absorbed whore," Theodore said, shrugging. "But you didn't hear it from me."

Terence narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Christ, lighten up," he growled. "You sound like my father."

"Behave like I'm not old enough to be your father and perhaps I'll reconsider my position." Theodore sounded disgustingly bored.

"You should be enjoying yourself, instead of biting people's heads off, acting superior, and snapping at them," Terence said, toying with the cuffs of his shirt.

"Did it ever occur to you that that's how I enjoy myself?" Theodore asked, dropping his cigarette to the ground and putting it out with the toe of his shoes.

Terence laughed hollowly, and shook his head. "And you say I have a fucked up view on life?" he asked disbelievingly.

"I'm not the one who wants to fuck around with my siblings," Theodore said, lighting another cigarette. He was once again reminded that it was a dirty habit, disgusting, and that he'd picked it up from Stella, the thought of which made him seethe.

Terence wrinkled his nose. "Calvin's my second cousin, not my brother. I have none. Only child." He folded his arms across his chest, and looked a bit more sullen than he previously did, his eyes scanning the crowd for a possible fuck. It had been too long. He frowned when Calvin did catch his eyes, and lick his lips. Terence pretended not to notice. "Smoke a lot?" he asked quietly.

"Depends on my mood," Theodore replied in a tight voice. He took a swig of punch. "And yourself?"

"Too much," Terence answered, and he made a bit of a face. "I heard it's awful for you. I drink more than anything else. Most in my family chain smoke, though. It's a bit gross."

"They've charms for that, you know," Theodore told him, pulling out another cigarette. "It helps with my nerves."

Terence made a faint murmur of agreement, and he looked at Theodore curiously. "Are you okay?" he asked, even though he was still highly offended by some of Theodore's comments.

"Why are you concerned?" Theodore asked, narrowing his brow. He didn't particularly trust Terence Higgs with anything other than holding his cigarette case while he tied his shoes.

Terence snorted, Theodore's answer all too predictable. "I'm sorry if you're a bit unfamiliar with the concept, but I tend to care about other people and what they think or how they feel." He graced Theodore with a brittle smile. "Perhaps a bit more than wise."

Theodore highly suspected that Terence wanted to get him in bed. "Women," he said after a moment's silence, "Are utterly unbearable."

"I know," Terence said in agreement, smoothing his tousled hair. "Especially when spurned. So fucking emotional all the time, you'd think someone died. Men aren't any better, though."

"Which is exactly why I don't bother with either of them," Theodore exclaimed, though this was not entirely true.

"'Don't you love me?' 'But Terence, you acted like you cared so much!' 'Oh, I hate you. You were using me!'" Terence rambled in a mocking tone, making a face. "It's all fucking stupid. As if they really know whether they're in love. I can't believe people are stupid enough to think such an emotion actually exists, to be honest."

Theodore snorted. "Love," he said bitterly, "Is a stupid misconception invented by romantics attempting to excuse their own petty attachments to people and places."

Terence nodded, and furrowed his eyebrows together. "I know. I don't really believe in it. Probably because I was proved wrong of it when I was much younger." He sighed, and bit his bottom lip, which was swollen from an encounter only a few hours early. "I wish the more whiny romantics would understand I fuck them for the enjoyment. I don't want their sappy love letters, and tears of pain afterward. Stupid bints. They never learn."

"When people talk about love," Theodore spat bitterly, "They're lying. Love is nothing more than a falsehood designed to manipulate people."

A few people glanced at Terence and Theodore, who were talking rather loudly. Calvin especially looked down his nose in disapproval. Terence paid them no attention, focusing solely on Theodore. "It's ridiculous, isn't it? There's no love, only lust and hate."

"Power," Theodore drawled. "Don't forget power." He lit another cigarette.

"Sex for power is an important concept. It's the only way you'll get far," Terence said. And have people accept you said a voice in the back of his mind nastily.

"That's a point of debate," Theodore snorted. "And no clever wordplay with coming so far? I'm disappointed."

Terence laughed. "Coming," he said, in a purr, which caused the boy who was getting his glass of punch to nearly drop it, and blush furiously. When he scampered away, Terence was dissolved with laughter.

"Remind me why they invite you to these things again?" Theodore asked, watching the boy run off with vague amusement.

"I haven't a clue," Terence said, still grinning. "I try to put up proper appearances, I really do, but fuck, scandalising the lot of them is great."

"Yes, you make that more than a little obvious," Theodore muttered. "I suppose these people break old ties slowly."

"Perhaps," Terence said, glancing around the crowd. "Merlin, my father's going to hex me, if I keep it up. I'm glad he didn't catch me in the gardens earlier." He gave Theodore a weak smile. "You don't want to know."

"You're right," Theodore said shortly. "I don't want to know. You'd probably deserve a good hex or two."

Terence pouted childishly. "Do not. How rude of you."

"How rude of you to have sexual relations in your relatives' gardens."

"What they don't know won't hurt them, right?" Terence declared, a devious smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Well, if you don't keep your voice down, they will know pretty damned soon," Theodore hissed.

Terence blew a kiss to the Warrington siblings, who were now standing a few feet away, and they both rolled their eyes, grumbling something like, "So obnoxious." Terence ran his fingers through his hair, and said, "Eh, they really don't pay too much attention."

"You're not nearly as good looking as you'd like to think," Theodore said bluntly. "And they know that your ego takes away from your good looks, anyway."

"Well, you are a straight bloke," Terence pointed out, looking more amused than annoyed. "You wouldn't really know. And my ego's not so bad. Honestly, people are always saying I'm big headed." He smirked at the last statement, not twisting it at the last minute.

"Did it ever occur to you that they tell you that because you are big headed?" Theodore asked, looking annoyed.

Terence cocked an eyebrow. "Well...everyone I've slept with knows that," he said, knowing he was pushing it.

Theodore groaned outwardly and buried his face in his hands.

Laughing, Terence nudged Theodore in the side. "I was kidding," he said, looking greatly amused. "Seriously, sorry."

Theodore jumped as Terence touched him. "I know that. But it was still rather disturbing."

Terence laughed, a light and fluttery sound that escaped his lips. He tilted his head playfully at Theodore. "I keep forgetting you're the sort who doesn't like jokes with heavy innuendo."

"Do you know many people who do like jokes with heavy innuendo? Especially at family functions, of all places," Theodore snapped.

"Of course," Terence answered, ignoring Theodore's harsh tone. "Half the time they're too intent on me, though. I love it."

Theodore rolled his eyes, and lit yet another cigarette. He realized he wasn't making a very good impression, smoking like a chimney and snapping at relatives, but wasn't in the mood to care. "Intent on you my arse," he muttered.

Unable to resist, Terence smirked deviously, "Your arse is intent on me? Lovely, I'm flattered."

"Ha ha ha, very funny," Theodore snorted. "Yes, my arse is very intent on you. It thinks for itself, you know."

"Talented arse," Terence teased, before giving Theodore doe eyes. "Could I have another cigarette? You seem to have plenty on you."

"You'd know one when you saw one, wouldn't you?" Theodore sighed, handing Terence the cigarette case again.

"I've an eye for that sort of thing," Terence answered, lighting the cigarette and taking a long drag. "I suspect all the girls are chasing after you?"

Theodore sighed and rolled his eyes, sucking on the end of his cigarette. "Unfortunately, I seem to be quite popular with women at the moment."

"They all want a relationship or something?" Terence asked, blinking a few times. "Bit retarded of them."

"So it would seem," Theodore replied, tossing his cigarette butt into one of the bowls of punch he wasn't drinking from. "Or, rather, one of them wants a relationship, the other won't admit she wants one, but dissolves into tears the moment I suggest I'm interested in someone else."

Terence looked disgusted, before a smile graced his features. "Can I pretend to be your boyfriend to piss them off further?" he suggested, trying not to laugh. "It would be so funny, and would teach them not to be such drama queens about you in the future. As if you need it."

"Well, then they'd both be bawling their eyes out, and bloody Turpin would probably attempt to castrate us both. You're better off going after her," Theodore gestured to the dark haired girl who's offered to show him her broom riding scar earlier. "She has a scar on her inner thigh from a riding accident when she was ten. You might want to check that out."

Terence licked the corner of his mouth, and gave Theodore a grateful smile. "I haven't fucked her yet. Pity, she's a pretty one." He turned on his heels to talk to her, his hips swaying slightly. Before leaving, he smiled sweetly at Theodore, "If you want me to distract the girls, just ask. I'm always willing to help a friend in distress." With a small wave of his hand, Terence strolled away.

Theodore waved back reluctantly, and rolled his eyes as soon as Terence was out of view. He needed more punch.
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